What works best?
By Elizabeth Aylott Pope.
When was the last time you did ONE thing? Can you even remember? Most of us – especially mums – are constantly doing everything simultaneously, simply because there is So. Much. To. Do. We feel that to be productive we have to be answering emails, cooking dinner, talking to the kids and cleaning the house at the same time or it simply won’t all get done.
But current research shows that there are definite costs to multi-tasking. First off, it’s not really multi-tasking. You may feel that you are doing it all at once, but in reality you’re “switch tasking” or “serial tasking.” That means that you are shifting gears between tasks and actually losing time and focus each time you do. You waste energy because you have to remember what you were doing and what you wanted to do next, incurring “switching costs.” The American Psychological Association’s research says this can add up to a task taking 40% longer.
It’s also more stressful. And you never really get in the zone for any activity! Plus, multi-tasking requires a lot of working memory – think of it as temporary brain storage – which takes away from our ability to think creatively because essentially there’s no more room to work.
Good news: there ARE areas where you can background task. This isn’t the same as serial/multi-tasking. Background tasking means you do two activities, but only one requires mental engagement. The other is entirely automatic and routine, and/or uses completely different brain processing - like listening to music and folding laundry.
This means that you can divide and conquer, combining background tasking with single tasking to get everything done more efficiently, while also maintaining your sanity and the quality of your relationships. If, for example, your me-time today is going to be reading a book, then don’t try and multi-task with something else. You simply won’t get much out of your down time because it won’t truly be your time. And ask yourself: can you really listen to your kids or spouse while writing an email? No. You can put the washing on, boil the kettle and listen to the news, though! Place the line between the things that you do that make you feel fulfilled or require true concentration, and simple household tasks.
Here are a few simple ideas to help you get there:
1. Make a list of your top priorities for the day. Try to keep the big ones down to a top three that you choose to focus on exclusively while doing them.
2. Use routine to your advantage. If the household runs on a particular schedule that doesn’t require constant thought, it frees up whole sections of your brain!
3. Ask for and accept help from others. Find ways for your spouse and kids to pitch in, even in simple tasks. Everything that comes off your plate is a win.
4. Separate out activities best done while kids are asleep. This might be tasks that require concentration, or give you the most pleasure when you can focus on them.
5. Practise mindfulness. Especially with things that delight you. You’ll get more out of every moment of me-time if you’re truly present for it.
By Elizabeth Pope.
If you’re a mum looking to return to work after taking time out of the formal workforce to care for your children, it can be daunting. You might be feeling a distinct lack of confidence that makes the task fraught with emotional challenges. Plus, there’s the stress that comes from the practical task of job hunting.
But you are not alone. Mums (and increasingly, dads!) all over the world take a few weeks, months, years or decades off in order to focus on their families. We know how hard this can be and that’s why we’ve put together 4 practical tips to help you get started:
1. Acknowledge and articulate your skills: emphasise your transferable skills.
Every past experience, skill, strength and preference matters. Seek out feedback from others and look at your background to assess all the skills you developed by being at home with kids. Your people skills, multi-tasking, organisational skills and financial savvy have been honed in a valuable way!
The key will be articulating these skills in a way that resonates with an employer. Think about them from that perspective. Get help writing your CV, and/or hire a career advisor or coach to help with practise interviews. Brainstorm likely questions and great responses.
2. Update your skills.
Scan loads of job sites and look at jobs you’re interested in, and then dig into the position descriptions for skills you’ll need to add or brush up on. If your certifications or computer knowledge are out-dated, there are plenty of online and adult continuing education courses at community centres, libraries and universities to help you get up to speed.
3. Volunteer work.
Volunteering is a wonderful way to refresh your skills, gain confidence and it can even serve as a stepping stone to paid employment. Consider all the volunteer work you’ve likely already done, whether with a community service organisation, a parents’ association or your children’s school. Whether you’re looking to return to the field you once worked in, or start a brand new chapter, seek out a relevant organisation and offer your services and time. It will freshen up your resume and help you make contacts.
Speaking of contacts… reach out to them! Whether your circle is mostly other mums, or includes a wide range of people from all professions, let them know you’re looking for work. Set up a casual coffee, or make a call, and ask them for ideas, their experiences, and at least two other people you could talk to.
Sign up for online webinars, attend job fairs, join online and in-person networking groups. Reach out to people through social media sites like LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter also. Keep your communication style professional and express your gratitude when people reach back to you. As an added bonus, sharing your experiences with others and hearing their stories will help with your confidence as well.
Finally, remember your worth. Approach every job opportunity with your head held high: you have a lot to offer. You’re a mum, yes. But also a whole lot more.
© Take time to BE YOU – September 2015.
Welcome to the Take time to BE YOU blog.
My sacred place for sharing some of the lessons and showcasing the work of the many people who inspire my practice.
Start your own transformative journey with the Take time to BE YOU 4-step guided practice.
By Take time to BE YOU contributors:
• What's underneath your mask.
• Putting mum guilt in its place.
• Strategies for sticking with online learning.
• Multitasking vs. Single tasking.
• How to find your way back to work.
• 4 top tips for reclaiming your morning routine.
• How to become successful in 8 steps.
Elizabeth Aylott Pope. Writer for Take time to BE YOU.
Carolina Herrera - Take time to BE YOU founder.
Vincent van Leeuwen. from Beaglecourse.
Jaime Simpson - family counsellor, life coach.
Andrea Fox - widely published author of personal essays concerning the challenges and humor of parenting