How to find the time—and the mindset—to do your “thing”
By Andrea Fox.
Published on April 2, 2014 by Andrea Fox in Imperfect Mothers - Psychology Today.
I'm happy to see you back here for Part 2 of this Self-Care For Mom series. In last week’s post I encouraged you to choose an activity, your thing, to experiment with for this series and beyond. In this post, I offer some ideas about why self-care is hard for moms, along with antidotes to counteract these mindsets.
What exactly is self-care, first and foremost? I see it as a running to and not a running from. It’s a toxic mindset to come to a point where you say (or shout!), Can’t I get one moment of peace? Mom is on strike! Fend for yourselves! as you lock yourself in your bedroom or flee to the car. No good can come of this wit’s-end situation. You know what I mean; we’ve all been there.
I encourage you to think of self-care, not as running from your all-consuming career as a mom, but a running to, that is: running to yourself—returning to who you are at your core, remembering what gives you energy, preparing you to care for others.
Why is self-care for moms so hard? Why don’t we do what we know is good for ourselves and that which has a positive domino effect on our family? Here are two reasons I’ve discovered along with suggestions for how to overcome them:
Self-Care for Moms, Part 1
Why mom needs to do her "thing."
By Andrea Fox
First published on March 24, 2014 in Imperfect Mothers – Psychology Today.
An article on The Onion made its way around the Internet recently. Titled Mom’s Got her Thing Tonight, it struck the funny bones of moms everywhere. Briefly, it’s a spoof on a mom heading out to get some alone time—to do her thing. The kids have no idea what that thing actually is, or how long she’s been doing it. They only know that when mom comes home from doing her thing she’s in a good mood, and—most importantly—dinner’s in the fridge.
I had a good laugh at this, as did many of my mom-friends. It’s “been there; done that” funny. How many of us have gone out to do something for ourselves, but not before leaving instructions, a clean soccer uniform, and a crockpot chili? It’s also “nervous laugh” funny. The family is completely oblivious to what thing mom is doing; it’s ludicrous—and then we realize, oh right, my family doesn’t know what my thing is either.
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